Monday, November 12, 2012

My First Accosting

           I finally have a real place to live! So there is this great little apartment complex right near the river in Washington Heights, and I stumbled upon an ad on craigslist listing a room for rent. I emailed the girl, and reluctantly drug myself out of bed to check this place out on Saturday morning...not an easy task when you are hungover. So I get to the apartment and it is amazing! Huge room, great kitchen, and laundry in the building. I was sold! To make a short story even shorter, I signed today :-)        

           Well, I've yet another story from the Subways for you today. Still on the high from finding what I consider the deal of the century, I went out to do a little shopping. The day ends and I am a little disappointed I couldn't find anything, and pissed that I got lost and wondered around for 30 minutes trying to find the damn D train. I finally find the entrance, and am minding my own business reading my book and this lady (who I am pretty sure is the Gypsy from Drag Me To Hell) comes up to me and says "Give me some money. I'm hungry." Now, obviously my Ignore, Ignore Ignore! policy isn't going to work this time 'cause the chick is right in my face...dead tooth and all. I try to be as nice as I can be and explain that I don't have any cash, and get this...she hawks up a big ole snot wad and aims for her! Before I can stop myself I scream out, "Bitch, if that leaves your mouth I will push you onto the tracks!" Luckily  Mrs. Ganush (so I named her after the movie) leaves me, lugie free.
           So, what I have learned today? Don't look to happy in NYC...makes you approachable.

Friday, November 9, 2012

Are You British?

           Let's talk about the place that I am staying this month. Washington Heights is a great, quiet little neighborhood above Harlem. Well, above Broadway avenue that is. Guess where this kid is? Yep! Below. I'm not complaining, I haven't been cut yet, and I am only occasionally awakened in the middle of the night to screams/gunshots, and they did finally clean the blood off of our stoop. Ok, that last line is a complete joke. I actually don't feel in any danger at all, it just isn't Midtown on Piedmont park.

           About the apartment. So I booked this place for the month of November. It was pretty last minute, so the bitch wasn't cheap. From the description on, the website I booked it through, it seemed as though a professional musician was renting her spare room. I called her, she was very nice, and I booked it! Well, I get here and to my surprise I have actually rented her room, and have just inherited another roommate. I'm greeted by a cute little German girl named Kiki, who is boiling cabbage nonetheless. I'm pretty quick with my hello, because this bitch was pretty tired from traveling all day (and the xanax/gin and tonic I downed on the plane). 

          After settling in a bit, I decipher from listening that I have two other roommates, two guys. Ok, no big deal...there is only one bathroom...but hey, I have a place to stay! Yesterday I decide it would probably be a good idea to finally say hello to them (don't want them thinking I'm a d-bag just yet). I meet one of the guys first. Turns out he is a model from London and here for a seven week stay! Awesome, we hit it off immediately. Next is the other guy. Kind of a toad, computer nerd...but whatever. He will keep to himself and seems easy going. So far so good, now let's talk to the girl. 

           I find her in the kitchen, now boiling cauliflower (what is up with all this boiling of the vegetables). We start talking about what we do...blah blah blah. Then, she says "Oh you model too? The other guy here models as well. He is from London, you are too right?" It takes a second and then I realize she is mistaking my southern accent for a British accent! I could only think of the Will and Grace where Jack and Britney Spears first meet. Video Will and Grace  <-----Click to watch if you need to be refreshed on the scene.

        Now, lets talk about this room I am in. Obviously this girl is gonna be a little weird (she IS a musician afterall) But my favorite oddity in the room is staring at me as I write this...It seems to be some kind old cupboard, painted teal with a glass door. Inside are some dried flowers, roses, and oh...a huge turkey wing (with feathers) and an 8x10 picture of her! Is this a shrine? The Thai palace next to it seems to suggest so...I don't understand...but, of course I snapped a picture of what I have deemed "The Indian in the Cupboard" for your entertainment. Enjoy! (I hope she isn't mad I am using her shrine to store my undies. #NoClosetSpace


Thursday, November 8, 2012

Snow Day

          As the day grew colder, it started to snow. I pulled back the blinds, cranked the space heater up and watched it fall. I don't think I have ever seen it come down the way it did, wind pushing it in every direction, almost opaque. I listened to the kids playing in it, and having what sounded like a grand ole' time.
           Dinner time rolled around and I decided to forgo the healthy choice frozen thing I bought and head to a nice little Chinese restaurant down about four blocks. I got showered, and dressed up because it seemed like a nice little place...I walked out of the entrance to the apartments and realized, it is f-ing freezing! My hair, despite the vast amount of product in it, whipped around all over, my nose started pouring (booger queen) and I couldn't keep my eyes open. How could something so pretty be so horrible! I dredged on, in my favorite Cole Haan shoes nonetheless, and realized that all the street signs were hidden from snow. Great, now I'm lost, hungry, and slowing...painfully...destroying my shoes in the snow.
           I was done for...lost...probably going to get cut...and still very hungry. Then, I saw, not the Virgin Mary, but Wendy. Screw the Chinese restaurant, give me some chicken nuggets and a coke, okrrrrr! When I got inside and checked my gps, I found out I had only made it a block away from the apartment. I felt like I had walked to the Yukon, and really...I walked a block.

          After indulging in my inner fat kid, and f-ing up a #10 with a coke (I didn't even get diet), I came to the hard reality that I had to yet again wrap that scarf around my nose, which at this point I assumed was black from frostbite and my modeling career was over, and head back home.

          I'm happy to say that I did in fact make it home last night, but I was spent. Turned that damn heater up as high as it would go (I don't want to hear anything about not sleeping with those on because desperate times call for desperate measures), turned on the first season of Gossip Girl (Almost out of Netflix Shows to Watch), and took a big ole' melatonin pill.

          So, what have I learned? What do I take away from this situation?
                       A.) I should have bought that waterproof Cole Haan boots I wanted when they were on sale.
                       B.) Sometimes, fast food is ok.
                      C.) You cannot get frostbite on your nose in 32 degree weather when you only walk a block.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Movin' On Up!

          It is day number three in New York City. The butterflies are gone and the bags are unpacked. It still seems a bit strange to be so far away from all my loved ones and friends, but I think I'm going to be alright.
          What have I learned so far? Hmmm, well...for starters...look at the weather of your destination before departing for the airport. A t-shirt may seem fitting in Atlanta, but not for the 30 degree weather you are flying into. Next, make sure you ask the person you are renting from if they have would assume a person would have heat in a place like this...but it may make your first night a bit less uncomfortably cold and you wont be wearing a winter coat to bed. Hello $99 dollar heater from Bed, Bath, and Beyond. Another apple of not get on a subway in rush hour if you have a slight case of claustrophobia...most people will not get off at the next stop, and yes...all the oxygen IS getting sucked out of your lungs. No one else could possibly cram into this cabin...wrong. They can, and they will die trying.
          Speaking of subways, there are some strange riders on those trains. I thought I had seen the range of homeless people in Atlanta. The ones who talk to themselves, the drunks, the ones who keep to themselves. There is a new breed up here...the performers. The world is their stage and honey, they are going to sing, dance, or whatever it takes to get that quarter out of your pocket and into that little gift bag they are holding. Or the one who gets on and of course sits right next to you...because no one normal sits right next to you on an empty train...and mutters and cusses under his breath in what I assume is him not realizing he is speaking his thoughts out loud.

           All kidding aside, I am so excited to start my new adventure. Change is good, and change makes you grow. I'm really missing my friends and family, but you have to take chances and reach for opportunities. I'm so grateful to be afforded the chance to follow my dream. Who knows if I'll make it, or be home in six months, but damn it I'm going to try my best!

          In the words of Wanda Gale Ship on Saturday Night Live, "Reach for the stars, because they don't have arms to reach for YOU."