Friday, November 9, 2012

Are You British?

           Let's talk about the place that I am staying this month. Washington Heights is a great, quiet little neighborhood above Harlem. Well, above Broadway avenue that is. Guess where this kid is? Yep! Below. I'm not complaining, I haven't been cut yet, and I am only occasionally awakened in the middle of the night to screams/gunshots, and they did finally clean the blood off of our stoop. Ok, that last line is a complete joke. I actually don't feel in any danger at all, it just isn't Midtown on Piedmont park.

           About the apartment. So I booked this place for the month of November. It was pretty last minute, so the bitch wasn't cheap. From the description on, the website I booked it through, it seemed as though a professional musician was renting her spare room. I called her, she was very nice, and I booked it! Well, I get here and to my surprise I have actually rented her room, and have just inherited another roommate. I'm greeted by a cute little German girl named Kiki, who is boiling cabbage nonetheless. I'm pretty quick with my hello, because this bitch was pretty tired from traveling all day (and the xanax/gin and tonic I downed on the plane). 

          After settling in a bit, I decipher from listening that I have two other roommates, two guys. Ok, no big deal...there is only one bathroom...but hey, I have a place to stay! Yesterday I decide it would probably be a good idea to finally say hello to them (don't want them thinking I'm a d-bag just yet). I meet one of the guys first. Turns out he is a model from London and here for a seven week stay! Awesome, we hit it off immediately. Next is the other guy. Kind of a toad, computer nerd...but whatever. He will keep to himself and seems easy going. So far so good, now let's talk to the girl. 

           I find her in the kitchen, now boiling cauliflower (what is up with all this boiling of the vegetables). We start talking about what we do...blah blah blah. Then, she says "Oh you model too? The other guy here models as well. He is from London, you are too right?" It takes a second and then I realize she is mistaking my southern accent for a British accent! I could only think of the Will and Grace where Jack and Britney Spears first meet. Video Will and Grace  <-----Click to watch if you need to be refreshed on the scene.

        Now, lets talk about this room I am in. Obviously this girl is gonna be a little weird (she IS a musician afterall) But my favorite oddity in the room is staring at me as I write this...It seems to be some kind old cupboard, painted teal with a glass door. Inside are some dried flowers, roses, and oh...a huge turkey wing (with feathers) and an 8x10 picture of her! Is this a shrine? The Thai palace next to it seems to suggest so...I don't understand...but, of course I snapped a picture of what I have deemed "The Indian in the Cupboard" for your entertainment. Enjoy! (I hope she isn't mad I am using her shrine to store my undies. #NoClosetSpace


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